Last page of the Notebook

This post is edited and updated on January 27th 2009.
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She came and sat on the bench, behind the small coffee shop in the college campus. It was the last day of her college. She was happy, she was sad. She had a mixed feeling. She was sad as it was the last day of her student life. Here on all her friends would be scattered all over the world, she won't be meeting them regularly, no tension free life. Now on her life will have lots of work load, presentations, client meetings, deadlines and what not! But above all she will be missing Nikhil... Nikhil, she thought, her best friend, her boy friend, her every thing, how will she live without him? She was habitual of him being around every now and then. When ever she was happy, when ever she was sad, he was there no matter what time, which place. When ever she needed him, he was there. But then just the next moment she was reminded that she was happy too, because just an year or so from now, she and Nikhil would talk to their parents about their relationship and would be happily married. This thought some how enlightened her frowned face and delighted her mind. Seven years, they had been in a relationship and they never fought, they never showed attitude to each other, they never overreacted to any matter, they never complained, they never expected any thing. They just loved and cared for each other and understood the other person's feelings.


She pulled out her cell from her jeans' pocket and read the last received message.

c u at 5:30

Nik

She looked at her wrist watch, it was 5:15, she reached there a little early, as always. She did this always because she never wanted to miss a single moment spent with him. She enjoyed waiting for him and in those moments that she spent waiting, she recollected the memories of old times they had together.

She rested back on the bench, closed her eyes and remembered how it was, the first time they met.

~~~~~*~~~~~

It was the first day of her college. She was new, not only new to the college but also to the town. She sat all alone, next to a window in her classroom. She looked around to see if there was any familiar face but there was none. A few minutes later the professor entered the classroom and started the roll call, after giving a short introduction about himself and the subject he was going to teach.

"Roll no. 1, Aabhas..." "yes sir"

"no. 2, Anuja..." "yes sir"...

The professor continued calling the roll no.s. She affirmed her presence on the call and then opened the book to have a look at the subject.

"Roll no. 43 Nikhil ..."nobody replied.

Professor called again, louder, "Roll no. 43, Nikhil..."

This time somebody screamed, as if from some distance, "Present sir".

The professor looked at the students to check where he was sitting, but he couldn't see any raised hand. He adjusted his spectacles and said, "I cannot see you Mr. Nikhil, will you please stand at your place?"

Then the class heard his voice again, this time the voice seemed to be a little nearer. "Here I stand professor, at the door." He stumbled up on the door stopper. "I'm sorry that I'm late, will you please allow me in the class?" he said with an innocent smile topped with little naughtiness.

The class burst into laughter and so did the professor.

He smiled and said, "Okay young man, you can join us, but from tomorrow I want you on time, I won't allow any late comers in my class."

He entered the class like a hero and said, "You won’t have a single complaint against me in the coming years, till the time I pass out from this college." and smiled again, confidently.

"I like your confidence my boy, welcome to the college. I hope you will stick to your words. Now have a seat." The professor said.

"Sure sir" Nikhil assured him.

Nikhil looked around to find a place to sit, when he spotted a vacant seat next to the girl the window. He went and sat next to her.

After the long lecture, when the class was over, Nikhil looked around to find the girl next to him, still lost in her notes.

He peeped into her notes and said, "Don't you think there’s a little calculation mistake in your solution? I mean, my calculator shows 325 multiplied by 25 as 8125 and not 8215! Huh?"

She realised her mistake, slapped her head as if calling herself silly, smiled and said, "Oh yeah! I blame it on my dyslexia!" and gave a child like smile, looking at him.

Nikhil gave her a suspicious but funny look and said, "There is some wiring problem in your brain girl! You need Ram Shankar Nikumbh, not the professor you last met! Never mind, I'll be Ram Shankar Nikumbh for you."

She smiled and then there was laughter on either side.

"Nikhil" he said, putting his hand forward for a hand shake.

"I know, Mr. Nikhil Ram Shankar Nikumbh" she grinned and continued, "Kajal" shaking hands with him.

"Oh Ms Kajal, no need to be so formal, I prefer to be called as 'Nik'. Pleased to meet you. So when do we start our first session against dyslexia?" He joked.

"Well Mr. Nikumbh... err... what was I saying? Who are you? What is this place? You see I even suffer from short term memory loss, so are you a psychiatrist too?" She grinned again.

"Hmmm... seems like you are a big time fan of Amir Khan, huh?"

"Well it was you who started it!"

"Yup! Okay, so from where did you do your schooling?"

"Am new to this place, I did my schooling from a different place. How about you?"

"Same here. So you are a hosteller?"

"Yeah. Last night itself I accommodated myself in the college hostel."

"Me too living in the college hostel."

Just then the next professor arrived and started the roll calls.

Kajal was looking out of the window, admiring the nature's beauty in her college campus, and Nikhil was looking at her... Long-brown-curly hair, expressive-hazel eyes, infectious smile. She was wearing a sky blue jeans and white kurta along with it. Just then the little diamond in her ear rings dazzled and she smiled again, still looking out of the window. At that moment Nikhil wondered what dazzled more, her ear ring or her smile. Perplexed and mesmerized in her beauty he heard

"Roll no. 34, Kajal..."

"Present ma'am" she attended her roll call.

Then he observed the fine line of kohl in her eyes and thought, "Kajal, adds beauty to eyes, will this girl Kajal, ever add beauty to my life?"

~~~~~*~~~~~

She felt some one coming and sitting next to her on the bench. She knew who it was. She opened her eyes, but did not turn around to confirm his presence. She smiled. She blushed. But didn't say a word, she waited for him to begin.

He sat there next to her, perplexed, lacking words. He did not know how to begin the conversation. His heart wept, because he knew, that from tomorrow things won't be the same, she will be far away from him. He won't see her any more; he won't meet her any more.

She knew he was much more emotional than her and was aware of what he might be feeling at the moment. It was hard for him to believe that they were going to part. Some how she wanted to stop time, for him. She wanted to spend more and more time with him, but it was slipping from her hands like dry sand. She thought that she will try her best to convince him that this separation is for their good. Just a few months of separation, and then they will be together for ever.

There was a long silence between the two of them. The evening was silent. The only thing they could hear, apart from the silence between them, were the songs that played on the FM in the coffee shop behind them.

Kajal still waited for him to begin. She remembered the last time they had experienced such a silence. It was at the time when Nikhil had proposed her. Seven years back...

~~~~~*~~~~~

That day was the last day of the second semester. One year of undergraduate studies passed by without their notice. Their exams had ended and all of them were leaving for their respective homes the next day. Nikhil, Kajal and a few other friends decided to celebrate the end of first year and have a whole lot of fun that evening, so that for the forth coming two months of holidays they would have memories of the gala time spent together, and that separation time would pass away easily.

By this time Nikhil and Kajal had developed a good bonding between them and even their friends were aware of it, but when friends teased, they denied about it. Actually, each of them feared the other one's reaction. They feared losing the other. So in their own mind they decided to wait for the right time.

As planned, they watched a movie and later on went to their favorite hang out place, the Sip 'n' Bite coffee shop. There they decided to play a game. It was a rapid fire question and answer session. Actually it was a planned prank. They started playing the game. All of them were having fun. It was Nikhil's turn now to answer the questions and just then their token no. arrived on the screen. Kajal got up and said, "You guys carry on, I'll get the order." and she left.

Abhi said, "Okay Mr. Nik, here we go... I'll say a word and then without taking more than a second you'll have to speak out one word that comes into your mind as soon as you hear it. Okay?"

Nikhil said, "Okay let’s start."

Abhi- "College?"

Nikhil- "Friends"

"God?"

"Prayers"

"Destiny?"

"Serendipity"

"Colour?"

"Sky blue"

"Diamond?"

"Ring"

"Best friend?"

"Rounak"

"Eyes?"

"Kohl"

"Best feature?"

"Smile"

"Girls?"

"Beauty"

"Evenings?"

"Romantic"

"Beverages?"

"Coffee"

"Music?"

"Soft romantic"

"Heart?"

"Beats"

"Love?"

"Kajal"

He said this, and paused. The very next moment he realised what he had said. Every one else around was hooting and cheering him. Just then he realised that the very moment when he replied as "Kajal" to Abhi's question, Kajal had arrived at the table. She didn't expect this when she returned, nor did Nikhil. Both of them didn't know how to react. Kajal put the tray on the table and left the place without a word. Nikhil felt embarrassed. He hadn’t done that deliberately, but Kajal thought that way. He looked up at Abhi giving him a disgusted look, as if saying, "Are you happy now?" Abhi felt bad. He never thought that it will end up this way. Nikhil got up to leave when Ritu stopped him saying, "Hey Nik! We are sorry. We never wanted it to end this way. We did it just for fun. We wanted each of you to know the other's feelings..."

Nikhil interrupted, "Oh really? Thank you very much for the help!" He replied in disgust. "Now look what you have done. Till date, at least I had her as a very good friend and now..." He paused. "Have you ever thought what she might have felt? Both of us knew the feelings for the other but we never spoke about it, ever thought why? No! Why would you think for us? How am I going to face her now? She is so angry with me!" Nikhil sighed. He sat and hid his face with his hands. He was about to cry but he controlled his emotions.

Ritu consoled him and said, "Don't worry Nik, it was us who played the trick on you, I promise that I'll tell Kajal that it was a prank. We did it just for fun. You didn't say anything deliberately. Right?"

"Yeah, but it was my big mouth which uttered her name after hearing 'LOVE'! Huh!"

Nikhil pulled out his mobile and frantically dialed Kajal's no. but she did not respond. Finally he gave up and stormed out of the place.

Later that night, Ritu returned back to her room. Kajal lay there. She had cried a lot. But as soon as she heard the door open, she pretended as if she was sleeping. Ritu sat next to her pillow on her bed, she caressed Kajal on her head and said, "I know that you are awake and are listening to me. I even know that it's quite difficult for you to face the situation, but let me tell you one thing, Nik is not guilty, we are the ones who tricked Nik. It was Abhi's plan to trap Nik in words and make him utter your name. Nik just followed the way to the trap, blindly. Don't punish him, rather punish us... we are the culprits." She paused and then said, "Good night dear. Hope that tomorrow morning's Sun brings you the best of your life."

Kajal couldn't sleep that night. The whole night she thought, that next time, when ever she would meet Nik, how should she behave, how should she react? Should she tell Nik that she feels the same for him? But what will Nik think if she takes the initiative? He might feel that how desperate this girl is! But if she doesn't then Nik might even feel that she is not interested! She spent the whole night thinking what to do what not to do?

Next morning as soon as she jumped out of her bed she found a new message. She rubbed her eyes and yawned. She was feeling sleepy now. But she had to get up; she had to leave for home that day. She pressed ‘read’, it was Abhi. He had sent her a long message to apologize for what had happened last night. She threw her mobile on her bed and went away to have some coffee. The day had started and she decided to leave everything to the destiny. She decided that if Nik called her, she would talk, else she would not take the initiative. By the afternoon she hadn't received any calls. Ritu left for the station and Kajal was left all alone in her room. She started packing up her suitcases. Just then, her mobile rang.

Nik calling...

She received the call...

"Hey Nik!"

"Hi Kajal!" He paused for a moment. "So? Done with the packing?"

"Yeah! It's in the final stage. You?"

"I'm done with it. You need any help?" He grinned

"Nope! I think I'll manage it all by my self."

He didn't say any thing.

Just to continue with the conversation she said, "Ritu left an hour back"

"Yeah I know. I met her at the gate. I carried her bags to the auto."

They paused again.

Nik didn't know how to start, but he knew that at some point of time, he had to.

He scratched his head and said, "Well, I am sorry for last night. I don't know what made me say that."

Kajal's mind read, "There he goes." She tried to hide her smile and said, "That's ok. Abhi messaged me this morning saying that it was all his fault..."

"Yeah he said the same to me, but he just guided me to the door, it was I who opened it!"

She didn't know what to say.

There was a long silence on either end.

Nik was confused and Kajal was waiting for him to say something.

She knew what he wanted to say and Nikhil knew that she was dying to hear those words, but he debated whether this was the right time and right way to propose her.

Finally he began, "Err... well Kajal..."

She brought the phone nearer to her ear.

He continued, "I don't think that this is the proper way to say this, but I think that this is the proper time... I mean, I think... if I couldn't say this today, I don't think I'll ever have the courage to say this to you in my life..."

Even Nikhil was not aware of what he was saying.

Kajal still waited, she didn't say any thing.

"Hello? Kajal are you listening?"

"Hmmmm..." She said and nodded her head in affirmation.

"Are you getting what I want to say?"

She felt like screaming, "Speak out you idiot! How long are you going to take to say those three silly words? If you don't have the courage, let that be..."

But instead she replied, "Well... err... I'm not sure"

Again there was a long silent pause on either end.

"Kajal... err... I love you" Finally Nikhil uttered.

And Kajal's heart jumped, it danced, it sang, it screamed...

Nikhil could sense her smile even on the phone and he realised that she was blushing.

She felt like saying, "What took you so long to say these words? Do you know how long have I been waiting to hear them from you?"

But instead she remained silent. Now it was her turn to reply and now she realised how tough it was to say those three silly words.

Nikhil gave her time to decide how she should react. He waited.

Kajal gathered all the courage she had and said, "I love you too." and smiled.

Now she could sense Nikhil smiling.

Just then there was great noise at Nikhil's end.

"Where are you right now? And what was all that noise?" She was worried.

"I'm standing at the railway station and right now, my train pulled on the platform!" He sighed.

At that very moment he felt like leaving the train and going back to the college to meet Kajal.

And Kajal felt like running to him at the station.

But neither of them could do what they thought. Nikhil boarded the train and left... They parted for two long months on the day they united!

~~~~~*~~~~~

Nikhil took Kajal's hand in his and held it tightly. Kajal resumed the present. She looked at Nikhil, he was tensed, his hands were trembling. By now, she had understood that it's not possible for Nikhil to start the conversation.

She took his hand in her hands, gave him a confident smile with moist eyes and said, "Look dear, even I know that it's not going to be easy, but it's true that we are going to part. But then look at the brighter side, we are going to part only for some time. A few months from now, we will get married and then, no one on this earth can part us! Remember, even on the day of our graduation, we thought that how are we going to stay apart for so long. But destiny had it's plan. We separated for two years, worked in two different cities and for post graduation, we were selected from the same B-school. We had never thought about this at the time of graduation. Right?"

Nik looked at her, with moist eyes. She could sense that something had been eating his mind. He hadn't slept last night. He started looking at the garden before them.

Kajal waited. Nikhil gathered all the courage he had and stared at once, "Kj" She looked deep into his eyes. "I don't know how I should start. But I know that I have to say this some time. I don't know if this is the proper way or not but I know that this is the right time."

These words reminded Kajal of his proposal. "He had used the same words when he had proposed me" Her mind read.

"Kj, sorry, but I don't think our relationship is going to work!" he said, he paused and he again looked at the garden. He didn't have the courage to look into Kajal's eyes. He couldn't see the dreams in her eyes shattering down, the hatred that might have developed for him, in her heart after hearing this. He never wanted to see her cry. But he had to do this.

Kajal was not expecting this. She was in shock for a moment. She didn't know how to react and the very next moment she burst into laughter. She said, "I know, you are playing a prank on me, right? You just want to see my reaction on your words. But you see I am smarter than you. Gotcha!" and she smiled

Nikhil gave an even more serious look and said, "I know it's not easy for you to accept. But I am dead serious!"

By now Kajal got tensed. She somehow didn't want to, but had to trust what Nikhil was saying. Because if Nikhil had been joking he would have burst out laughing too on seeing Kajal laughing.

She couldn't stand the suspense any more, she inquired, "What do you want?"

"A break up!" Nikhil said loud and clear.

Kajal shattered. She could not believe her ears. She looked at him and he was actually serious.

"Why?" She asked.

"My brother called me last night..."

Kajal waited for him to continue.

"He had taken Tamanna home, to meet our parents. Remember Tamanna? His girlfriend?"

"Yeah! Then?"

"Mom and dad are not ready to get my brother married to her."

"So?"

"So... you know... they might not agree with us... I mean, I think so..."

She thought for a second and said, "But..."

"What?"

"But Tamanna..."

"Yeah?"

"She doesn’t belong to our religion... so this might have been a reason that your parents didn't agree... I mean... this will not be the problem in our case... you see..."

"Oh Kj! Why don't you understand? Look, I belong to a very conservative family. I don't think this religion and caste thing is going to work. The main point is that, they won't agree for a love marriage!"

"What? They won't agree for a love marriage? What the hell? Didn't you know this thing before?"

"I knew, but..."

"Very nice! At first, pamper a girl, love her, make her feel that no one else can love her more than you, and then, when she is so mad in your love that she cannot imagine any other person at your place, tell her you can't marry her. ‘My parents won't agree for a love marriage!’ Huh!" She said in disgust.

Nikhil knew that Kajal was right. She never insisted for the relationship. But he was helpless.

"Kj look, I don't want to give any one, a single chance to humiliate you. If any one misbehaves with you, I cannot stand that!" He tried to persuade her.

"Yeah! Any one... except you!" She said in sarcasm.

Nikhil was speechless.

"I think that was a trap for me. You see, you flirted with me for seven years, because you needed someone to be with. You needed some one as a time pass, to show people that look guys, even I can manage to have a girl around me, girls go crazy for me. So you thought who can be a better fool than Kj, she looks good, she is decent, intelligent, likes me, so I stand a good chance, I will flirt around with her and after some time I'll leave her! And I was such a stupid! I trusted you, I believed in your words. I was so blind in your love that I never understood that you are cheating me!"

"Kj, I'm sorry! But..."

"No Nik, Don't be. It's of no use."

By now she had started crying. Nikhil though wanted to cry along with her, he couldn't.

"This was my most favorite bracelet" and she pulled out the bracelet that he had gifted her and returned it to him, saying, "But I don't like it any more. I'll return all your gifts, I don't need them any more nor do I like them! They will always remind me about you and make me sad!"

"No Kj! I don't want any thing back. What all will we return each other? The gifts? The cards? But can we return the time that we spent together? The memories? Is it possible for either of us to forget them?"

He tied back the bracelet to her hand and said, "Kj, I have one last request for you, Let me be a leaflet in you notebook... please"

"But what's the use?" She asked sobbing.

"Because, no matter how hard you try, you cannot forget any thing. Trust me. And it's not all my mistake."

"I wouldn't have considered this to be your mistake, if only you had tried something for our relationship. I think Tamanna was luckier than me" she continued crying.

"I never expected this from you! But now, I'll try my best to forget you." She added.

"And I shall see if you forget me." He said as he got up, he had a hope that some where deep in her heart, he will always have some space.

He started walking away, when both of them could clearly hear the radio at the coffee shop behind them...

Tum hi socho zara,
kyoun na roken tumhe...
Jaan jaati hai, jab uth ke jaate ho tum...
Jaan jaati hai, jab uth ke jaate ho tum...
Tum ko apni kasam jaan-e-jaa
baat itani meri maan lo...
Aaj jaane ki zid na karo...

She heard the lines and looked up at him. He was walking away. She felt like running to him, stop him and ask him to try at least once rather than just giving up. But she was so sad with his behavior that she didn't get up. She looked down and continued to cry.

Just then, on hearing these lines, Nikhil thought that those were being sung on behalf of Kajal. He turned around, with moist eyes to look at her for one last time. He found her crying. He felt sad, that he had made her cry, but he had no other option and he left.

~More than a year passed~

Kajal was driving back from work. It was an autumn evening, the Sun was about to set. She was working in the same town from where she had done her post graduation a year back. She took the road passing by her college. She had to wait at the signal before her college. She could see the tall old tree, the place where she met Nikhil every evening. The same tree where she had met Nikhil for the last time, the time when they broke up. She saw the bench where they sat. It was empty, gazing at Kajal, as if calling her to sit there and live all the memories again. Kajal could easily figure out that no one had been sitting there since a long time, the bench was covered with the dry leaves of the tree. She remembered the bitter memories of that evening. Memories... that was all she had of her past life. At the same time the FM played...

Patjhad Hai Kuch … Hai Na ?
Patjhad Mein Kuch Patton Ke,
Girne Ki Aahat
Kaanon Mein Ek Baar Pahen Ke
Laut Aai Thee
Patajhad Ki Vo Shaakh Abhi Tak
Kaanp Rahi Hai
Vo Shaakh Gira Do
Mera Vo Saamaan Lauta Do …

She could relate it to the situation. She remembered Nikhil requesting her, to have his memories in her heart on that day and she denied. But even today all those memories were fresh in her heart. She couldn't forget a single thing. Just then she realised that the signal had turned green. She continued driving.

Ek Ijaazat De Do Bas
Jab Isko Dafanaaungee
Main Bhi Vaheen So Jaungee
Main Bhi Vaheen So Jaungee

These lines took her a few years back...

~~~~~*~~~~~

Kajal was sitting in her room, by the window listening songs from her ipod along with a cup of coffee. Just then her phone rang.

Nik calling...

"Hi Nik!"

"Hey sweetheart! How are you?"

"Am good dear. How about you?"

"Same here. And how was your day? You had a meeting with the clients. Right?"

"Yeah! It was good. They liked our work, so the project is in our hands and I am the leader."

"Wow! That's a great news! So by now you must have started with your project work, Ms. Hard worker! Right? Rather than enjoying with your colleagues?"

"Nope! Am chilling, with a cup of hot coffee, my favorite music on my ipod and memories of my sweetheart in my mind" Kajal replied and Nikhil could sense her smile on the phone.

"Oh that great. Chilling with something hot huh?" Nikhil teased.

"Hmmm... You got my joke." She sipped her coffee.

"But why aren’t you partying with your colleagues? Alone at home?"

"It's Friday evening my dear and no one has time for colleagues on Fridays, they have 'other responsibilities' to fulfill on Friday"

"Hmmm... I see. This is the reason you are left alone, you don't have the company of your boy friend huh? You see the problem of long distance relationship..."

"No I still have him as a company. You see, right now am having a cup of coffee with him. So what if I can't meet him, I can have a long conversation with him."

"Yeah! Yeah!" This time Kajal could sense Nikhil smiling.

"Hey!" Nikhil continued, "What song is your ipod playing right now?"

"Mera kuchh saman, tumhare paas pada hai..."

"My my!"

"Why?"

"Mine is playing the same!"

"He he... our ipods share a great timing..."

"I simply love this song. You know this is my favorite break up song."

"Hah! Favorite break up song! Is it a breakup song?"

"It seems to be one. Isn’t it a break up song? I haven't seen the movie."

"You watch a movie and not see."

"Oh yeah! Am sorry teacher!" Nikhil teased

"Well... I watched the movie, when I was a kid. I don't remember much... still I have faint memories about it..."

"Like?"

"Actually, the guy and the girl are in love, but unfortunately the guy has to marry some other girl. So this new girl, that is the wife sends back the belongings of the girl friend... girlfriend writes poetry... ‘nazm’ to be precise... so she writes a letter to the guy in which she states that though he has returned her physical and material belongings she still has things left at his place... and in the form of the nazm she demands all the memories to be returned..." she paused and sighed. "Hah! This is what I feel the song is about..."

"You narrated me almost the whole story and you say you have faint memories about the movie!"

"Ha ha..."

"But still it seems to be like a break up song, for a lay man like me, who hasn't watched the movie and doesn't understand much about literature... And any way I just love the song!"

"And I don't! Such a crap!"

"Why? What's crap in it? And if you don't like it why do you have it in your ipod?"

"I transferred it by mistake. I transferred all the songs from the CD that you gave me so I happened to transfer this one by mistake."

"But what's so bad about this song?"

"What's so good about it? How can this girl be so stupid! She broke up with her guy and she still has the memories in her heart. I think she should have kicked him out of her mind by now, rather than crying and making songs out of her sad past!" She paused and then continued, "And those last lines, Ek Ijaazat De Do Bas, Jab Isko Dafanaaungee, Main Bhi Vaheen So Jaungee, Main Bhi Vaheen So Jaungee... that is ultimate crap!"

"Why? What's there to find as crap?"

"Why isn't she ready to accept the reality that she doesn't have that guy any more in her life? What's the use of regretting on the past? If she stays hooked to the past she can never live her present and future peacefully. It's better to leave the bitter memories in the past!"

"It's easy to say dear and hard to do! You cannot understand what she must be feeling until you are at her place."

"Yeah Socrates!"

~~~~~*~~~~~

She parked her car in the parking and waited for the lift. Now she realised the truth in Nikhil's words, that it was actually quite hard to leave the bitter memories of past in the past. Even after so long she remembered every thing, she herself was hooked to the past, willingly or unwillingly, she wasn't sure, but one thing was sure, she couldn't forget any thing, though she had neither met Nikhil nor talked to him after that day, but he still had the same place in her heart.

She reached her home, placed the keys and bag in the cupboard, had a glass of water, and sat on the couch by the window, looking at the city- every one was busy in their own lives, no one cared what the other was doing. She felt very lonely at the moment. She stared at her phone, wishing that at least some one would call her... but it didn't ring. She threw the phone on the bed and again gave a look at the city... millions of people around but still alone. Just then her phone rang...

Mom calling...

"Hi mom!"

"Hi dear! So back home or still grilling in the office?"

"No mom! Am back. Fortunately I got off quite early today."

"Hmmm... so? How is every thing going?"

"It's going good mom!" she replied in monotony.

"So when are you going to visit home?"

"Might be this weekend"

Kajal's mother found Kajal to be depressed.

"Is something wrong? Why are you sounding so down?"

"Nothing mom!"

"Your boss said something?"

"Nope."

"You had a fight with someone?"

"Nope."

"Then what?"

"Nothing mom! I just had a long day..."

"Long day? Right now you said you finished early today? What's the matter my dear?"

"Ok mom... I'm feeling lonely... and that's all..."

"Hmmm... feeling lonely... I knew... and that is why I've called you..."

"Thanks mom!"

"And I've a solution to sway away your loneliness."

"Really? What's that?"

"Look kiddo, I think by now you have settled in your life and I think now you should take your life a bit more seriously..."

"I'm serious... I'm one of the most hard-working employees in my office! My boss is happy, lately I finished a project and am heading towards another one..."

"I didn't say take your work seriously, I said take your LIFE seriously. Did you get the difference?"

"No."

"Look after graduation you wanted to work and then you did your post graduation. This was your wish and we never stopped you right?"

"Hmmm... then?"

"You completed your studies last year and are working since then..."

"Go on..."

"I think that it's high time now that you should get married. This way even we will live the rest of our life peacefully and you will have some one as company..." her mother paused and then continued, "and won't feel lonely... huh?"

"Mom!" Kajal said with astonishment. She was not prepared for this. She continued, trying to change the topic, "Mom, I've a better idea."

"What?"

"Why don't you and dad shift here. This will kill my loneliness and all of us will live the rest of our lives peacefully and happily!"

"Don't try to change the topic Kajal." Her mother was annoyed. "Do you have any guy in your mind?"

"Mom I don't want to get married."

"Why?"

"Just like that mom. I don't know! The thought of marriage makes me nervous."

"It happens with every one. You are not the only girl facing this. So tell me..."

"What?"

"Do you have any guy in your mind?"

"Nope."

"Okay so me and your dad have chosen a guy for you. He is a nice guy..."

"Mom!" Kajal interrupted.

"Yeah?"

"You people are planning an arrange marriage for me?"

"Yeah! What's wrong in it?"

"Arrange marriages sound so creepy!"

"What's so creepy about it?"

"I don't know that guy or his family. I know nothing about them. How can I risk my life? Just meeting them once or twice, how can I decide that whether, I can have them for my life time or not?"

"Look Kajal, your dad and I had an arrange marriage and there is nothing wrong about it. You need to trust some one. We met them once, they are your uncle's friend and we found them to be good people..."

"But mom..."

"I don't want to hear anything else. At least meet them once, I'm sure you will like them. I want you to visit home on the weekend."


~A week later~

Kajal was standing before the mirror, getting ready, when her mother entered the room. She was astonished to see her daughter in saree...

"Oh my God! I never thought that you will wear a saree!"

"Mom! We drape a saree!"

"Okay okay... drape a saree... I expected salwar suit or something like that."

"Why? Don’t I look good?"

"You do my dear! But then you are a girl of the 21st century... whom I've mostly seen in a pair of jeans or trousers accompanied with a t-shirt or a kurta... a modern girl who was not willing for an arrange marriage a few days back... so I hadn't expected this and was amazed to see you in a saree..."

"Mom! Agreed that I'm a modern, 21st century girl, but I know my customs and traditions. At first even I thought of wearing a suit but then I thought giving saree a try." Kajal smiled looking at her mother through the reflection of the mirror.

"I don't think that this is the first time you are wearing... oh sorry... draping a saree! You have been very much into this saree thing, huh?"

"Yeah! We had to be in formals in the B-school, so at times all of us tried the saree and now even at the work place sometimes we go in a saree."

"I never realised when you grew up to be so big!" her mother caressed her head with moist eyes and smile on her face.

"Mom! I'm and will always be a little girl for you... and don't show me those tears, they make me emotional..." she hugged her mother.

"Ok if you are done with your emotional scene, you can come downstairs. They have come." interrupted Kajal's dad, lightening the atmosphere.

"Yeah! Just a second dad!" Kajal replied to her dad.

"I think we should attend them, Kajal can join us later." Kajal's dad said to her mother and both left.

Kajal sat on the bed looking at her reflection in the mirror. She looked beautiful in that sky blue coloured saree. Sky blue again reminded her of Nikhil. She tried hard to forget him, forget every thing, but she never succeeded. The more she tried to run away from him and his memories, life brought them closer. She felt sad. Just then she realised that some people were waiting for her downstairs. She got up, wore a smile on her face, though fake, and went to greet them.

"Hi Kajal! Welcome my dear. Please have a seat." A gentleman, nearly of her dad's age greeted her.

"Hello Uncle! Hello Aunty!" She greeted them looking at them and turned eyes all round the room to see ‘the other person’ but she didn't find any one else except for her parents. This disappointed her. "What's this? I won't marry a guy whom I have not even seen. They will just hand over a photo to us and ask us to decide whether I want to marry him or not? And I'll say a big no for that! How would I know without meeting him, if I can spend my whole life with him or not?" Her mind read.

She was already quite reluctant to get married now she had a good point to make and deny the marriage.

"Actually, our son it a bit practical. He doesn't always follow things traditionally. At first he was not agreeing for an arrange marriage..."

"Thank God!" sighed Kajal at herself.

"... but we tried our best to persuade him. Now at least he is ready to meet Kajal once." Her to be mother-in-law continued.

"What? Ready for an arrange marriage and ready to meet me too? Now I don't have any point to deny the marriage! What do I do now God?" Kajal's mind read again.

Her to be father-in-law said, "My son said that he doesn't want to meet the girl with all her and my relatives surrounding us. How can we talk properly? We need space, we need privacy."

"He is a very caring person. He cares more about others rather than himself. He said, 'Don't think about me mom. I'm a guy, what about her, you think... will it be comfortable for her to talk to me with all you people around, staring at her. What she is wearing, how she is talking, walking, looking, sitting... and what not! That is so disgusting on her part!'" Added her to be mother-in-law.


"So what does he want from me? Go and meet him alone some where?" Kajal thought.

"He is such a nice boy." Kajal's mother said, looking at Kajal with pride filled in her eyes. "My daughter is so lucky to have an understanding boy and family like this!" she added.

Kajal felt like shouting, "Have a family like this! What do you mean mom? I haven't said yes yet, I haven't even seen how does that guy look like and you are throwing me in a relationship with him?! Huh!" but instead she gave a fake smile to her mother and pretended to blush.

These all things were very odd for Kajal. She felt like running away, but something chained her to her seat. She kept the fake smile on her face, while listening to the elders talk.

"You want to meet him?" all of a sudden, her to be mother-in-law inquired.
She looked at her mother.

Her mother said, "Don't look at me my dear, tell what you feel."

"Hmmm..." was all she replied.

"Actually he said that he would be waiting for you at a restaurant. He wishes to have lunch with you. You people can talk over there, good for both of you. After all it's the matter of your life!" Her to be mother-in-law said politely.

Kajal again looked at her mother, feeling that at least now her mother will interrupt, how can she send her child to have lunch with an unknown guy at an unknown place.

But again her mother said, "What do you wish dear? You feel like going and meeting him there? Are you comfortable with it?"

"Are you?" Kajal asked her mother instead.

"Yeah! We have absolutely no problem with that."
Kajal was shocked to learn the reply.

"If there is some problem, we can call him here dear. It's not a big deal. But he fixed meeting you there, to comfort you." Her to be mother-in-law said even more politely.


Somehow, Kajal had started liking them. She tried hard to find reasons to deny this marriage, but she couldn't find any. These people were very cooperative.

"Actually..."

"Yeah! Go on..." said her to be father-in-law

"The mechanic has taken our car to service it... but that's ok, I can take an auto..."

"No no my dear, no need for that. My son had taken care of that as well. He sent a car for you along with a driver, he was not aware if you can drive." her to be father-in-law added with a humble smile on his face.

"Okay... then I think I should go and meet him." she said. "This guy is damn caring and God! What all does he think!" her mind read.

She stepped out and found two cars.

"The black one is for you." Told her to be father-in-law.

"My son bought this black car two days back. He hasn't allowed any one to sit in the car so far except for the driver. Even he stayed away from the car. The time when he bought the car, he declared, 'the very first person to sit in this car will be my to be wife!' " she heard her to be father-in-law telling her father. They had a good laugh after that.
She stepped out and found a brand new black Skoda Octavia. This was her dream car. For a few minutes she kept on staring at it.

"Welcome ma'am" said the driver, opening the door for her. At that time she realised that she had to get in the car.
She sat in the car and comforted herself. The driver started driving.

Black... she thought and again walked down the memory lane... a few years back...

~~~~~*~~~~~

Kajal and Nikhil were sitting on the staircase of their college canteen, facing the parking. Nikhil was sitting two steps below Kajal. Other friends had gone to bring something to eat. All of a sudden someone drove and parked a black Scorpio in the parking. Seeing the Scorpio, Kajal went mad!

"Wow! Black Scorpio! That looks so cool!"

"Yeah! Black!" Nikhil replied as if saying, "Am not interested!"

"Why? What's wrong with black?"

"What's so good about it?"

"Don't you like black? Black makes a statement."

"Does it? I don't think so. It looks so dusty even if you don't clean it just one day. The scratches shine more than the head light. Black is so hard to maintain..."

"Is it? So what do you like?"

Nikhil turned back to look at her. He looked at her from top to bottom and said, "White" with a naughty smile on his face.

At first Kajal didn't understand, but then she realised that she was wearing a white suit that day. It was white from top to bottom. The moment she realised that, she blushed, but by then Nikhil was again looking at the parking.

"I also like silver when it comes to vehicles. But love sky blue in cloths. I like different colours for different things."

"Silver? It is so boring! Black is black! It grabs attention before you can notice any other colour..."


"Is it? What's so boring about silver? And so eye catching about black?"

"I can prove my point right now!"

"Ok go on..."

"Look at the parking in front of us..."

"Hmmm..."

"Which is the first bike that you notice?" Kajal inquired.

"The CBZ..."

"The BLACK CBZ... right?"

"Yeah! So?"

"You see... the very first thing that caught you attention was the BLACK CBZ and NOT the silver Karizma... though it's Karizma and is parked in front..."

"Well... but I'll still say, I-don't-like-black!"

"Why do you have grudges against black... My name is Kajal and it represents black! Don't you like me?"

"No" shrugged Nikhil without even looking at her.

Kajal skipped a heart beat. Her anger turned into a frown. All of a sudden she felt like crying. She looked at Nikhil with moist eyes.

Just then Nikhil turned around with a naughty smile on his face and said, "Because I love you..."

Kajal sighed off in relief and then blushed.

~~~~~*~~~~~

"We have reached the restaurant ma'am" The driver's declaration made Kajal resume her present.

She stepped out of the car and started walking towards the restaurant. All the time, Nikhil's thoughts preoccupied her mind.

She reached the restaurant. By now she had decided what would be the first thing she would tell her to be husband. She decided that whether he asks or not, she would tell him every thing about her past.

She reached the restaurant and looked around to find only one table occupied by a guy who was sitting alone. His acts made it clear that he was waiting for someone. Kajal walked up to him, dragged a chair and sat there.

"Are you here to meet me? Did my mom and dad send you here?" The guy asked Kajal with surprise.

"Hmmm..." Kajal nodded affirmatively, without looking at the guy.
And there was a long silence.

To start with the conversation, her to be husband said, "So? Err..." he cleared his throat. "What would you like to have?"

"Before talking about any thing, I would like to tell you something... something about my past..." Kajal said that, after gathering all her courage.

"Okay... go ahead..." The guy replied, resting his back to the chair, clasping his hands.

"I had been in a relationship with a guy for seven years. I loved him very much. We broke up last year and it wasn't my fault. He wanted a break up... I loved him so much... but it was not in my destiny!" Kajal said, almost in tears.

"You loved him? Loved? I don't think so... seems like you are still in love with him."

"Okay, let me make it clear... though we broke up last year and that time I had decided to forget him, throw him out of my mind, I couldn't! He still lives in my memories... I cannot forget him! I still love him."

"But then, why did you break up?"

"He wanted a break up..."

"Why?"

"I don't know, he said he had some family problem!" By now Kajal started crying.

"You and your family seem to be nice people. But I don't think I'll ever do justice to our relationship." Kajal sobbed.

"Hmmmm..." he said, "Just a second" and pulled out his mobile from his pocket. He searched something in it and then looked at Kajal, as if comparing something.

"Kajal?"

She looked up at him, "Yeah?"

"Kajal, this is your name right?"

"Yeah."

"If my guess is not wrong, you are standing next to this guy in this photograph. huh?" he showed a photograph to her from his mobile.

"Yes, this is me!"

"And the guy standing next to you is..."

"My ex-boy friend..."

"Nikhil huh?"

"Yeah but, how do you..."

"Just a second..." He got up to call someone and returned back to join Kajal.

He smiled at Kajal and said, "Even he still loves you Kajal. I have seen him spending sleepless nights in your memories. He cried whole night remembering you. He always felt guilty, he thought he never deserved you, he ditched you. He made you cry, he couldn't fulfill your wishes, or colour your dreams and thus he is punishing himself, he has decided that he won't marry any other girl. The fact is that he can't live without you."

Kajal was surprised to know all this. She wondered how did this guy know so much about her and Nikhil.

"Look at this Kajal." He showed Kajal the wallpaper of the mobile phone he carried, it had her photograph. The one that Nikhil loved the most. "He can't give up loving you. You tried to forget him and he lived in your memories night and day."

Kajal was not understanding what was happening. She couldn't stand the suspense any more. She finally asked, "Who are you, and how do you know so much about us?"

The guy smiled and said, "I'm Neeraj. Nikhil's brother.This is his mobile, mine was out of order so I carried his mobile today. Thank God! At least, this way I got your photographs to compare, else I wonder, how I could have recognised you?"

Kajal was in shock. She couldn't believe her ears. She didn't know how to react. After debating a lot at herself she said, "What do you expect from me now? I can't marry you! Because if I do, I'll have to face Nik every now and then and it's not possible for me to make you happy, specially when he is around!" She said almost in tears.

"Okay, I agree that you can't marry me, but you can always marry my brother."

"How? Our parents and deciding upon our marriage, then how can I marry Nik?"

Just then Nikhil joined them.

Neeraj said, "I know that our parents are deciding upon our marriage, but if I suggest you for Nik, I don't think that they will disagree. I'll say that Kajal, will be better with Nik and not me, so it would be better if you these two get married."

There was a silence.

"Come on Kajal, now, you have confessed before me that you still love Nik, right?"

"Yeah! But what about you?"

"What about me? Look Kj, mom and dad will find another girl for me. I've lost my girlfriend and I know how much it hurts, when a true relationship breaks. I won't like the same to happen with my brother. Don't worry about me, I'm ok with all this, just tell me, will you marry Nik?"

"Yeah!" That was all Kajal could say and she smiled and she blushed, in her usual way.

This time, Nikhil's heart jumped, it danced, it sang, it screamed...

Neeraj congratulated them and asked them to enjoy the lunch together. He left for Kajal's home so that he could persuade their parents that Nikhil would be the perfect groom for Kajal and not him.

They hugged each other and broke out laughing.

Destiny had decided to bring them together.